2. PY1102 Test on Thursday
3. Stupid grade for Anthro Essay
4. A million essays
5. Thrice that of research
6. Morale is dying
7. So is my energy
8. Paranoia trying to be my shadow
9. Starts with eff
10. Ends with uck
I'll be damned.
This is the way the story goes...
The story everybody knows....
Long live life.
2. I got my Legend of Drizzt VII replaced
3. I finally got my copy of Green Day's latest album 21st Century Breakdown!!!
2. I had an awesome orientation the past four days though. Met some fantastic and wacky people and thorougly enjoyed myself. I especially loved the Forest Adventure where it was a major physical challenge but it was entirely fulfilling. Four flying foxes and more. Couldn't have had a better way to spend the day. It wasn't easy (yes, and I've got a battle scar across my right hand to prove it), but I'm proud of myself for finishing the entire course.
3. It feels so strange to be starting school again, especially when the people around me are still holidaying. Sometimes I read about what they've been doing and can't help but feel a little left out. I guess I can't possibly be involved in everything so I'll just let that go.
4. I'm so jaded now that it's not even funny.
5. I should start separating my life from others'. It's time to live and let die.
Dell:
Sturdy, Durable, Cheaper, BUT Heavy and Fugly...
Vaio:
Built-in fan (wouldn't overheat), Aesthetically Pleasing, Lighter BUT More Expensive...
Here's the deal:
If I choose a Dell, Dad pays full price.
If I choose a Vaio (which I really really want), I pay a quarter of the price.
what to do, what to do, what to do???
And in calculating the cost of my purchases, considering that there's far more to go, I can only offer a wan smile.
Here's the list so far...
1. Black studded choker
2. War of the Spider Queen IV
3. Legend of Drizzt VII to X
4. Wicked the novel
5. Post-it notes
6. Giordano jeans
7. Studded belt
8. Black dye
9. Band t-shirts
10. Portable hard drive
11. Earring cuffs
12. Chronicles of Life and Death CD
13. American Idiot CD
14. Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge CD
15. Lots of food
16. Wristbands
17. Victorinox Swiss Army Knife
18. Paper folder
19. Random notebook
2. It is bloody hell NOT SWINE FLU.
3. My computer CRASHED and is bugging me to verify my Windows programme.
4. My mum has the stupid administrator's account but she's too lazy to fix the compooky (a.k.a computer).
5. I want my quilt. NOW.
6. Stupid Nikon club's connection sucks so I haven't been able to upload more photos.
7. I don't think I can go on the Malaysia shopping spree.
8. I HATE GLOBAL WARMING.
9. I am overdosing on strepsils and water.
10. I NEED MORE MONEY.
11. I don't really wanna go to school.
12. I WANT A SONY VAIO. NOW. (red or black???)
13. The stupid bank hasn't processed my paycheck.
14. I need to kill people. Or maybe I'll just stick to ants.
Sometimes I dance, simply because life is so full of life. Most of the time it's just a momentary high. And there the little ghost of that scent just brings me down again. When I laugh, it reminds me to cry, when I jump, it reminds me that I have to fall. And when you were there, it told me that you had to go.
The clock on the wall's ticking backwards and I wish that time would go along with this little game. Then maybe one day I'll see you and we'll both know what we aren't strangers again.
Sometimes I stride, with so much confidence and smiles that even I feel that I'm whole again. That the world is all as it should be. But in the quiet solitude, it's all I can do to stop myself from admitting that I feel all too alone. I'm fighting, every day, just to be stronger, better, more independent, to forge myself in steel. But it's not to make myself better that I do all this, it's simply to try to forget that you ever existed. I was trying so hard to get you, but now I'm dying to forget you.
I miss the sound of your voice,
I miss the rush of your skin,
I miss the still of the silence
as you breathe out, and I breathe in.
1. Today I saw a little dog walking on its two front legs, pulling its two damaged hind legs along in a wheeled stretcher. It made me so sad that I wanted to cry.
2. I saw some people taking photos with Ronald McDonald today. It just made me smile. I hope they were smiling too.
3. Today, as always, as every day, I missed you so much that it hurt. It hurts to have to try to be so strong, to have to be alright. To never cry, or ask why. Because you never did.
4. Can we pretend to leave and then, we'll meet again when both our cars collide?
5. So long, and goodnight.
"... that's why we have natural beauty, yes? Don't ever say you're ugly. No, never ugly, all have beauty on inside. Nevermind what you look like on the outside. Inside, everybody's beautiful. Yes, someone in the world will love you. Somebody special, ah, by heaven, somebody in this whole world will love you..."
-Words of Sensei in Aikido class
*Disclaimer: This piece was written for FUN and not in any offence to the great literary piece and its author.
Ah, the famed walkway of Wizard of Oz, such a happy sunny colour that would make Mr Happy pale in comparison. One would wonder, though, what exactly is the Yellow Brick Road made of? There have been a few guesses going down the neighbourhood of Kansas, but before we start pounding down that avenue in glittery red heels, let's see which of the guesses would be the most feasible.In accordance to the wealth and splendor of the Wizard of Oz and his emerald castle, one would propose that the Yellow Brick Road was made of nothing short of gold. An entire Great Wall of China's worth of solid gold! But the Yellow Brick Road couldn't have been made with this shiny metal simply because it IS the YELLOW Brick Road, not the Gold Brick Road. And if it were made of gold, it is unlikely to last more than a week after its construction. Why? It's gold, duh. People STEAL gold. period.
Alternatively, the Yellow Brick Road could have been made of a simpler chemical, such as sulphur perhaps. Sulphur is yellow. Maybe that's what makes the whole place so spick and span without a trace of snakes. Yes, snakes simply can't stand the smell of sulphur. But then again, it would stink up the entire Land of Oz with an unbearable stench. (Or maybe it's time that the Wicked Witch of the West finally had a bath, as well as all her monkey minions.)
But more realistically, I would propose the theory that the Yellow Brick Road was made of magically-replenishing BANANAS. Yes, you heard me right. BA-NA-NAS. Why? The answer is simple. Along with everything in the Land of Oz, it is magical, providing an endless supply of that oh-so-squishy fruit. And being the freeloader she is, the Wicked Witch of the West doesn't have to waste time, money or magic to sustain her verminous flying monkey army. Wonderful food chain isn't it?
And there you have it, folks, a Yellow (Banana) Brick Road! (And Banana and Brick both start with "B"!) An enjoyable fragrant experience in digging your heels into the therapeutic pastiness of the road. Just watch out of a flying monkey ambush.
Black wings take to the sky, deepening the darkness, their form as solid as wisps of shadow. Flight of the crow, an omen of death, a cry of forewarning, the impending storm spurred by their haste. Mistress Sparrow is no more as Lady Raven looks into the sky cracked by lightning. Cold triumph of the predator echoes across the plain. As the wind howls in sorrow for the sweet sparrow, the day ices over taking on the cloak of night. Like her pale sister whose spirit has fled, Lady Raven feels no chill, for her heart is dead even as she still lives.
It is where the first thing you learn to do is fall. Over and over again. As your back hits the floor and the breath is knocked out of your lungs, you have to remember to scramble to your feet. It is where all you feel is confusion and despair, where you can't understand why you can't do it right, where you feel like the only person in the room who does not understand the intricacies of every move. It is Aikido.
It is where every correction feels like a lesson well learned. To get down on your knees and watch carefully, remembering evey shift of posture, every slight raise of the hand. To bow and get back to practicing, hoping that each time you move, it will be a bit better. Hoping that eventually you will get it right and hear Sensei say, "Beautiful! Well done." It is Aikido.
It is where you put aside all pride, all strength, all fantasies of invincibility and apply yourself to the refining process. It is where you discover that there is truly, always room for improvement. Never once can you proclaim yourself well-practiced or powerful. Strangely though, you are simultaneously never weak. It is where it seems that we all hang in balance, never really reaching perfection, yet not falling to helplessness. Where we are just constantly trying. It is truly where we simply "Try our best". It is Aikido.
It is where you cannot expect gestures of friendship despite guidance aplenty. In time, perhaps. It is where you walk away from every lesson with aching limbs but the quiet satisfaction that you've learned something new. It is where your discipline grows, and your concentration in nurtured. For all the frustration and agony in mistakes, the learning is worth much more. It is Aikido. The Beautiful Way.
And I'm almost finishing the "poker-inspired" choker! I just need to get the poker charms to add to the beaded collar... Can't wait to get it done!!!
Haha... Actually my main purpose of making these beaded chokers and necklaces is to fill my time and enable me to have funky accessories to don when I go to University!!! But there have been quite a few people suggesting that I should post pictures of the chokers/necklaces I've made and sell them... Well, when I get the first few done, I'll post the pictures up here. Let me know what you think and maybe I'll end up entering the jewellery market!!! :)
1. Band tees 2. Swarovski beads 3. Black eyeliner 4. Nike Dunks 5. Headphones 6. CDs 7. Boots 8. Wedges 9. Gothic necklaces/chokers 10. Wire cutters 11. Books 12. Star map 13. Star globe 14. Polaroid camera 15. Polarizing lens filter 16. Charms 17. Headpins/Eyepins & Chains 18. Metallica Necklace
And more to come...
There was a wild grass that grew on the hillside there, a strong, supple plant with a silky sheen to its pale green stems. We called it rat-tails, though it probably had some other name. Peg and her daughters were expert basket weavers, and made use of the grass for their finer and prettier efforts, the sort that might be sold to a lady for gathering flowers maybe, rather than be used for carrying vegetables or a heavy load of firewood. Darragh, too, could weave, his long fingers fast and nimble. One summer we were up by the standing stones, late in the afternnon, sitting with our backs to the Sentinel and looking out over the bay and the far promontory and beyond to the western sea. Clouds were gathering, and the air had a touch of chill to it. Today I could not read the shadows, but I knew it was drawing close to summer's end, and another winter of hard work and cold, lonely days. I stared at the stony ground and thought about the year, and how it turned around like a serpent biting its own tail; how it rolled on like a relentless wheel. The good times would come again, and after them the bad times.
Darragh had a fistful of rat-tails, and he was twisting them deftly and whistling under his breath. Darragh was never sad. He had no time for it; for him, life was an adventure, with always a new door to open. Besides, he could go away if he wanted to. He didn't have lessons to learn and skills to perfect, as I did.
I glared at the pebbles on the ground. Round and round, that was my existence, endlessly repeating a cycle from which there was no escape. Round and round. Fixed and unchangeable. I watched the pebbles as they shuddered and rolled; as they moved obediently on the ground before me.
"Fainne?" Darragh was frowning at me, and at the shifting stones on the earth in front of me.
"What?" My concentration was broken. The stones stopped moving. Now they lay in a perfect circle.
"Here," he said. "Hold out your hand."
I did as he bid me, puzzled, and he slipped a little ring of woven rat-tails on my finger; so cunningly made that it seemed without any joint or fastening.
"What's this for?" I asked him, turning the silky, springy circle of grass around and around. He was looking away over the bay again, watching the small curraghs come in from fishing.
"So you won't forget me," he said, offhand.
"Don't be silly," I said. "Why would I forget you?"
"You might," said Darragh, turning back towards me. He gestured towards the neat circle of stones. "You might get caught up in other things."
I was hurt. "I wouldn't. I never would."
May you always dance on the ledge, an inch away from the sheer drop that awaits your descent. May you never awaken to your folly such that men would call you fearless and women would hold their breaths in prayer, knowing your peril. As the ravens cry from above on their journey to the skies, and the hollow sound echoes down the ravine, may you continue in your self-absorbed performance to an audience that you scarcely regard. The bells at your waist and ankles jingle in light jest of the beautiful vision you display as you enchant and hold all in awe of your portrayed bravery. May no man ever know the end of your story, such that their hearts would always be in their throats for fear of the almost inevitable descent into the mist. May your life hang in balance, dependent only on your light-footed steps on the edge against the omnipresent force of gravity, such that your story could forever be told with no end. If you do fall, may you smile and relish the sensation of flight. If you do fall, may that be the last thing you would ever remember.
And I know that the butterflies dangle from strings. Their wings folded, yet they take flight. They do not flutter past my vision but sway with the soft whispers of the wind. Like the dreams they come and go, but for now they stay, in my memories. So close, yet so far away. So real, yet so impossible. Just like you...
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